Strap-on humiliation. There is nothing quite as sexually taboo as engaging the male submissive in a form of strap-on sex. Let’s face it. For all intents and purposes, when we think of sexual intercourse, we traditionally envision the woman as built for penetration. Sure, male/female couples also have anal sex, but again, it is typically with the woman being on the “receiving” end.
Kinkier couples, however, know that this way of thinking is much too inhibiting. And dominant females know that when a male partner is willing to give himself to her anally, he is performing a most powerful act of submission.
Historically and culturally speaking, the rear end is typically a place on the body associated with an aura of “the forbidden.” Sure, we can admire a shapely or curvy bottom on a male or female. Yet, based in the context of its mere biological function, the ass is a private area. We generally refrain from including it in any other activity besides its most basic, anatomical, utilitarian business.
We learn early in life that the rear end is a place of shame, embarrassment and filth. The ass is a vehicle for “exiting. ” Therefore it isn’t “natural” to want to put objects into one’s butt. For Pete’s sake! Framing the male’s bottom as an area for sexual indulgence immediately calls to mind notions of homosexuality and immorality. Some people view anal sex of any kind as an act of sheer lewdness. Indeed, in 2025, 12 states still have zombie laws. These make anal sex illegal if the Supreme Court overturns a case protecting gay sex.
It’s nothing new to say that because something is considered taboo, it is often transformed into a desire. Or even a point of fixation. Human nature is like that. Tell us something is “wrong” or that it’s off limits, and yup, now we want it that much more.
Kind of like driving by a car wreck. You feel like you *shouldn’t* look. And yet you are craning your neck as you pass by to catch a glimpse. It’s almost as if we have a need to be exposed to that which is dark, forbidden and possibly unpleasant. In his book, “Dark Eros: The Imagination of Sadism,” Thomas Moore suggests that Nature gives us these dark images and desires as a necessary part of our very souls. Moreover, it is our task to explore and contemplate these necessities.
Wanting to do something just because we’re told not to becomes simplistic when viewed within Moore’s framework. There is a catharsis we inherently seek and a great value discovered in being able to delve into these repressed, taboo mysteries that call out to us. That which revolts us also has the potential to heal us.
Getting a man to bend over and take it in the ass from a woman is a sexy, though somewhat radical, act. The very psychologically charged dynamics in a strap-on humiliation exchange are possibly what makes this activity so erotically appealing to both men and women. Many men who enjoy strap on play especially love it when their dominant female partner reminds them just how perverted and nasty they are for wanting a woman to penetrate and take them in this way.
Referring to his bum as a cunt or pussy, while sliding that dildo inside of him, completely shifts the power to the woman, his penetrator, the owner of his ass. A man who gives up his ass to a woman is engaging in an ultimate form of submission. He has placed all control and trust into his partner’s hands. He reduces himself to a hole that his partner penetrates and uses. The resulting role reversal is, as a matter of fact, quite intense and pleasurable for all involved. This form of objectification intensifies the humiliation factor tenfold.
Backing up just a bit (pun fully intended), strap-on humiliation with submissive males is not limited to only anal play. In fact, for the novice strap on player, it might even be wise to introduce the strap on toy in a progressive fashion. The female partner, harnessed with an attached dildo, can make the male orally service her first.
Teaching the submissive how to use his mouth effectively and fellate the strap on cock is a profound exercise in domination and humiliation. Positioning the male on his knees and encouraging him to kiss, lick and suck on the dildo reinforces his feelings of surrendering and obedience. Again, the power dynamic is erotic and emphatic when the female assumes the more masculine role in this kind of exchange.
The male can also dress in female clothing, especially sexy or slutty lingerie, to push those gender boundaries even further. An especially nice touch is to paint the male’s mouth with lipstick or lip gloss prior to guiding that strap on cock to his lips.
It’s a common myth to assume any male who enjoys strap on humiliation must be gay. While some men, participants in strap on sex games, fantasize about males anally penetrating them, or even a shemale (a chick with a dick), the bottom line (yet another pun fully intended) is that most of these guys prefer a woman giving it to them. Sexual identity is not something that you can suddenly switched on or off, just because a person wants to explore different ways of experiencing sexual pleasure.
There are definitely men who like you to call them “faggot” for taking it in the butt during the strap-on humiliation scene. But that’s more of a mindfuck that works in the context of play. It means nothing more, nothing less in relation to their sexual orientation.
Strap-on humiliation and play can be a hot way to explore domination and submission exchanges between a man and a woman. Role play and role reversal games can actually be healthy ways to experience and celebrate one’s sexuality. If you are a male who is considering trying strap on sex with a partner, the most important thing to keep in mind is to pace yourself. Ideally, you have a female partner who knows what she is doing. Conversely, even if you’re both new to strap on play, you should at least be able to communicate your needs adequately to each other.
In an upcoming fetish exploration essay, the topic of Anal Play Fetishes will be covered. This will provide some tips on how to ease into the realm of anal games. Until then, take it slow. Don’t attempt to jump right into a strap on scenario with a ten inch dildo for your first experience. That would just be foolish and the last thing you want is to tear something very delicate. Don’t be afraid, always communicate your limits to your female partner. And most importantly, relax. Bend over and fulfill your strap-on humiliation fantasies,
Reference Cited
Moore, T. Dark Eros: The Imagination of Sadism, Putnam, CT: Spring Publications,1990.