Verbal Humiliation
Verbal humiliation refers to verbal insults and name-calling. Erotic humiliation occurs when someone derives sexual pleasure from verbally humiliating another. Or when someone verbally humiliates you. It is not for everyone. It can actually cause self-esteem issues, depression, inferiority complexes, and other emotional damage if not done consensually.
Mild humiliation occurs verbally in many sexual role-play scenarios where certain trigger words further excite those involved. Interestingly, a person may find certain verbal insults to be extremely exciting, while other, similar, insults are a complete turn-off.
Humiliation is a state of mind. This is why it is very important for those involved in consensual verbal humiliation to discuss personal boundaries. Prior to entering into the scene, clarify trigger words, turn-ons and turnoffs.
Consensual Negotiations
Because humiliation is so subjective, it is absolutely necessary to discuss and negotiate terms before entering into a role-play scene. Some men and women are intensely insecure about their looks. Insulting comments or insults aimed at their looks may actually wound them deeply instead of exciting them sexually.
The same can be said about hurling insulting comments against a person’s religion, race, social stature, physical characteristics, etc. Some may take words like: faggot, bitch, slut, and whore as personal attacks, particularly if they have issues with their own self-worth.
On the other hand, those very same words and insults can be deeply arousing and be an intense turn-on for others. For them, this type of verbal abuse inflicts “sweet shame” or the “sweet sting” of humiliation. Cutting insults and demeaning remarks turn them on as nothing else can.
Verbal Humiliation To Push Limits
For many submissives, physical pain, fear, disgust, and the humiliation that goes along with these things are welcome feelings of erotic humiliation. The endorphins released from such intense physical and emotional stimulation work to help create the subspace, or natural high, the submissive is looking for.
As with any type of “high,” after a time, the intensity needs to increase for the submissive to reach the same level of subspace. It is at this point that many who previously did not enjoy verbal humiliation begin being excited by it.
It is also important to note that things that are enjoyed in the heat of a sexual role-play scene may be things that actually disgust or are hurtful to the person when used in a different context. This is especially true when it comes to verbal humiliation. Much of D/s role-play has an underlying theme of humiliation, but words have the ability to cut deeper than any physical pain or discomfort.
Verbal Humiliation In the Form Of Coerced Flattery and Repetition
It is easy to think of verbal humiliation as being directed to the submissive. But requiring a submissive to say certain things to the Dominant can also be a form of verbal humiliation. In this case, when the Dominant forces the submissive to repeat commands, or other sentiments, back to the Dominant, it is a way of enforcing dominance.
For example, the Dominant may require the submissive to beg the Dominant to be spanked or punished and then require a heartfelt thank you once the punishment is received. Sometimes the Dominant will require the submissive to repeat the thank you over and over, getting louder each time.
Coerced flattery also falls into this category. Requiring the submissive to praise the Dominant or constantly make flattering remarks to the Dominant are examples of coerced flattery.
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