Verbal Humiliation


Verbal humiliation refers to verbal insults and name-calling; erotic humiliation occurs when sexual pleasure is derived from verbally humiliating another or being verbally humiliated by another. Verbal humiliation can range from mildly erotic to complete degradation.

Verbal humiliation is not for everyone and can actually cause self-esteem issues, depression, inferiority complexes, and other emotional damage if not done consensually.

Mild humiliation occurs verbally in many sexual role-play scenarios where certain trigger words further excite those involved. Interestingly, a person may find certain verbal insults to be extremely exciting and other similar insults to be a complete turn-off.

Humiliation is a state of mind; this is why it is very important for those involved in consensual verbal humiliation to discuss personal boundaries, trigger words, turn-ons and turnoffs prior to entering into the scene.


Consensual Negotiations


Because humiliation is so subjective, it is absolutely necessary to discuss and negotiate terms before entering into a role-play scene. Some men and women are intensely insecure about their looks and insulting comments or insults aimed at their looks may actually wound them deeply instead of exciting them sexually.

The same can be said about hurling insulting comments against a person’s religion, race, social stature, physical characteristics, etc. Words like: faggot, bitch, slut, and whore may be taken as personal attacks by some, particularly if they have issues with their own self-worth.

On the other hand, those very same words and insults can be deeply arousing and be an intense turn-on for others. For them, this type of verbal abuse creates what is known as “sweet shame” or the “sweet sting” of humiliation; cutting insults and demeaning remarks turn them on as nothing else can.


Verbal Humiliation to Push Limits


For many submissives, physical pain, fear, disgust, and the humiliation that goes along with these things are welcome feelings of erotic humiliation. The endorphins released from such intense physical and emotional stimulation work to help create the subspace, or natural high, the submissive is looking for.

As with any type of “high”, after a time, the intensity needs to increase for the submissive to reach the same level of subspace. It is at this point that many who previously did not enjoy verbal humiliation begin being excited by it.

It is also important to note that things that are enjoyed in the heat of a sexual role-play scene maybe things that actually disgust or be hurtful to the person when used in a different context. This is especially true when it comes to verbal humiliation. Much of D/s role-play has an underlying theme of humiliation, but words have the ability to cut deeper than any physical pain or discomfort.


Verbal Humiliation in the Form of Coerced Flattery and Repetition


It is easy to think of verbal humiliation as being directed to the submissive, but requiring a submissive to say certain things to the dominant can also be a form of verbal humiliation. In this case, the humiliation comes from being made to repeat commands or other sentiments back to the dominant as a way of enforcing dominance.

For example, the dominant may require the submissive to beg the dominant to be spanked or punished and then require a heartfelt thank you once the punishment is received. Sometimes the dominant will require the submissive to repeat the thank you over and over, getting louder each time.

Coerced flattery also falls into this category. Requiring the submissive to praise the dominant or constantly make flattering remarks to the dominant are examples of coerced flattery.